Marriage and Money part 2

I wanted to talk a little more about marriage and money.  Some of you may be experiencing some problems with getting your spouse to come to the table.  This is particularly true if you are the nerd and your free spirit spouse is totally oblivious.  My advice is to put the kids to bed, turn off the TV and with no distractions share your feelings on the matter.  If you're frustrated say why in a non-judgmental, loving way.  If you've been married for more than 2 minutes you know that your spouse is not a mind reader.  He or she might not realize the damage they are doing.  This isn't the time to yell and scream and start blaming each other, so if it starts escalating- stop.  If you still can't come to a compromise or your spouse won't be mature enough to realize how this is affecting your marriage I would highly recommend seeing a member of your clergy or a good marriage counselor.  Chances are that trust and communication are at the heart of these issues. Now I don't want to freak you out, but you may be in denial.  If you are just coasting along with this kind of baggage in your marriage, it will eventually blow up past the point of no return.  Your marriage is what you put into it and if it's running on fumes then it's time to pull into the station and get help.  Hold on tight to each other because it's worth working the kinks out to have a better marriage in the end.

Now to those of you who are dating or engaged.  The most important thing you can do for your future together is to talk about your expectations, dreams and goals before you say 'I do'.  There will always be an ebb and flow to marriage but I believe disappointment in marriage is caused by having unmet expectations.