Terin and James: A Lesson on Perseverence

This is the story of two phenomenal people, Terin and James.  From the outside you would never guess the life experience they both have.  I first had the privilege of getting to know them nearly two years ago.  They were some of my first clients, but they were (and still are) no ordinary couple.  In the Summer of 2010 they were newlyweds living with her family and expecting their first child.  They were only 16 and 17 at the time and both wise far beyond their years.  Like so many other teens across the country, they made a mistake, and had some decisions to make and some fast growing up to do.  They loved each other, chose to get married and make the most of the circumstances they found themselves in.  When I sat down with them, I saw fear in their eyes, of the future and the unknown.  But I also saw something very rare- willingness to learn and determination.  Like most newlyweds they had a modest income.  Thankfully because of their ages they had no debt.  But they still had some pretty hefty goals.  James graduated from high school early and worked part time while attending college.  He was also in the Army Reserve and had a pretty good idea of what he wanted to do with his education.  Terin was in high school and working hard to finish on time with her class.  


I began by going through what I normally do when coaching newlyweds, teaching them about working together, not only in their marriage but with their money.  We talked about goals and how important it was to work toward something.  I helped them create their first budget and taught them the importance of avoiding debt so they could accomplish their first goal of moving out on their own in the near future.  I think by the time I left, the fear and anxiety that was in their eyes was replaced by a calm confidence and hope for their future.


A couple of months later, they had a beautiful little girl.  By the following Spring they were ready to move out on their own.  All the while they both worked hard, working multiple jobs, going to school and taking care of their little one.  Last year, James was called up by the Army to serve overseas.  While this in and of itself was very difficult for both of them to bear, Terin was also expecting their second baby.  James left in January for training out of state and then left with his unit to go overseas in April.  May was very exciting for them but a bittersweet time as James could only witness the birth of their sweet baby boy via the internet.  A few weeks ago Terin graduated from high school.  She wasn't just a graduate, she was valedictorian of her class.  James won't be home until next January, but they are looking forward to when they can all be together as a family again.  Things are certainly looking up for them.  Because of their careful budgeting they have maintained a healthy emergency fund while James is deployed.


I'd like to think that I played at least a small part in their success, but this was all them.  While I may have given them some of the tools, they used them to cultivate a beautiful life for themselves through their hard work.  They have both been scorned and written off by some and yet have triumphed.  They faced their challenges with a maturity and strength that I rarely see in middle-aged adults.  They knew what they wanted out of life and with the support of family and friends are persevering.  It would have been all too easy at any point for either or both of them to throw in the towel because it was hard, but they didn't.  They chose not to become just another statistic.  And so I hope that by me sharing their story, you find the strength to persevere and keep going through whatever challenges you are facing.  I feel like a broken record saying this but life is never easy and certainly handling money in a way conducive to your financial goals isn't either.  The important thing to remember is to keep trying, no matter what happens along the way.

Quotations of the Month May

"He that can have patience, can have what he will." ~Benjamin Franklin
"It's choice--not chance--that determines your destiny." ~Jean Nidetch
"The only competition you will ever face is with your own ignorance." ~Bob Proctor