Budgeting: Stay on Target Month After Month

Have you ever had a month or even a series of months where things are just off when it comes to your budget?  I know I have.  Life happens, things come up that threaten to tip your balancing skills.  Maybe you've just lost the patience or the drive to keep going when the light at the end of the tunnel seems so far away.  If you're like me you need a tune up once in a while to keep moving forward.  So what should you do to stay on top of your game when budgeting becomes mundane?  

1~ Breathe.  Recognize that life happens, a lot sometimes.  Even when you feel like you've been knocked to your knees, it's important to take a deep breath before continuing.  No matter what you're going through, it will not last forever.  It might not seem like it now, but if you keep pushing you will eventually break through to the other side.  Don't let life's detours make you quit.  Instead, enjoy the windy path along the way.

2~ Remind yourself of the big picture.  Accomplishing your financial goals is a marathon, not a sprint.  Big goals, like getting out of debt, saving for a house, kids college, or retirement happens one day, one step at a time.  Taking the time to remember where you are headed and why will give you an extra pep in your step.

3~Don't get distracted by your wants.  Sure you can throw in wants sometimes to spice things up, but don't make it a habit or you'll lose momentum.  This is another reason why it's so important to have a blow category in your budget.  It needs to be enough that you can blow off steam, but not so much that it derails your goal efforts.  

4~Make it a game.  When my husband and I were getting out of debt, we made it a game to see how much extra we could glean to put towards a bill.  As a result there were months where we made a double, triple, or even quadruple car payments or student loans.  It becomes addictive almost and feels great to see the progress you are making.  We are doing the same thing now that we are saving for a down payment for a new home.

5~Put daily reminders around the house, car, work to help you remember.  Maybe it's a picture of what you are trying to do.  I always encourage my clients to do this because a visual reminder helps a lot when you feel bogged down.

6~ Remember to always budget for those non-monthly expenses.  They can quickly become budget busters and also throw you off track.  Here's my post about that from last year.

With rare exception, change happens gradually, not overnight.  It only happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.  If you keep these 6 steps in mind, the mundane will be revitalized again and you will see that change over time.

January Budget Doldrums

Now that we are 3 weeks into the new year, I'm sure if you made a resolution to do better with your money, your enthusiasm is starting to wain.  Have no fear!  I'm here for a mid-month pep talk.  First of all, remember a couple of things.  Change doesn't happen overnight and it's the little things that add up to be big.  Start by taking baby steps.  You can get anywhere by taking baby steps, right?  So here's a few steps you can follow if you're new to the game. 

1~ Lay out your entire budget- Income vs. Expenses.  Let it all hang out, flab and all.  This won't be pretty but you need to know what you spend on everything from debt payments to gas and groceries.  Don't forget little things like activities for the kids, lunches, and pet supplies.  Chances are you're going to feel anxious and overwhelmed by this, especially if what goes out is more than what comes in.  

2~ Cut it in half.  If doing an entire month is too much, start with a pay period instead.  This is a great way to break things off into bite sized pieces.  This is what I do and it's become super easy.

3~ Remember your four walls ALWAYS come first.  Read here for more about that.  These big pieces always go into place first so you don't have to worry about what you're going to eat, or if the electricity is going to be shut off.

4~ Choose one area that you want to change right now.  Maybe you'll start using cash for everyday expenses instead of credit or debit cards.  Maybe it's cutting back on dining out.   Maybe you need to shop around for insurance because it's been a while since you've looked.  Maybe it's even as simple as menu planning to save on your impulse grocery spending.  Regardless, find something that you can start today.  Once you've mastered that one thing, choose another.

5~ Remember to take one day at a time.  There's nothing more discouraging than feeling like you're stuck.  Taking baby steps one day at a time helps.  Life is never perfect and neither is budgeting.  But if you keep at it, you will achieve your goals.

The Difference

I often get asked the question, "How can I help my friend/child/sibling/parent who is struggling with their finances?"  The answer to that question often depends on the person or people in question because no matter how badly you want something for someone, you can't do it for them.  I know first hand how frustrating this can be.  This got me thinking about the people I have coached over the last 2 1/2 years since I became a financial counselor.  I've had quite the range in client's ages and circumstances.  From the young newlyweds to the retired or nearly retired couple, those with very modest incomes to those with six figure salaries.  Some have turned out to be my success stories, while others have struggled to get things together.  What really has made the difference?  I've come to the conclusion that those who are successful with what I teach have some common characteristics.

1~ Be Teachable:  If you want to be successful with what I teach, you have to be open and ready to learn.  Not everyone is ready to learn or make the changes necessary.
2~ Realize You Need Help:  This is probably one of the hardest steps because it requires you to swallow your pride and be open and honest with not only yourself, but me.
3~ Be United with Your Spouse:  If you aren't on the same page or can't get on the same page with your spouse because of trust or communication issues, you will not be successful with your money or your marriage.  Fighting about money is a symptom to those deeper issues and must be addressed first.
4~ Be Determined to Follow Through:  The mechanics of budgeting isn't difficult, but having the follow through to actually do it is another story.  Not giving up even when things start to unravel is what it takes sometimes.
5~ Be Proactive:  Ignoring problems will not do.  No matter what your circumstances, you have to be in the driver's seat and take control.

So when it comes to trying to help yourself or those you love, keep these qualities in mind.  They transcend both age and income and are more important in determining the outcome.   These aren't something developed overnight but through patience and diligence even the worst of circumstances can be turned around.  When they all come together nothing will stand in the way of achieving success.

My Expanded Thoughts on Progress

Yesterday I came across a C.S. Lewis quote that struck a chord with me. "Progress means getting nearer to the place you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turn, then to go forward does not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man." While this quote is from his book Mere Christianity and is referencing a more spiritual note, I found it also to apply to the world of personal finance. I could not stop thinking about it and had to expand my thoughts on the subject.

Do you ever feel like you're stuck spinning your wheels in the mud when it comes to your finances? I know I have many a time. Especially lately as my husband and I have been trying to rebuild our emergency savings from the substantial hit it took earlier this year. While I know we are on the 'right road' because we have been making progress towards our goal, it has ended up being a lot slower than originally anticipated. And that has caused frustration. I'm constantly reminding myself that there are no perfect months for a budget and that adjusting your expectations can be really hard sometimes.

There is a delicate balance between being flexible with your budget and completely blowing it. In the world we live in there are so many ways we can get pulled off the road that leads to our financial goals. Family, friends, children, neighbors, advertisers all have a tremendous pull on our budgets trying to lure us away from putting extra money into debt payments or savings. Those other roads are sometimes bigger and have bright neon flashing signs promising fun and happiness for all. At the end of the day when the money is spent, you're left with nothing but the figurative hangover wondering why you did that. We then can become discouraged and give up on our goal altogether. Instead of doing that I want you to stop and think about where you're at right now. Go back to the basics and start again. Even if it's not the beginning of the month. Be realistic and honest with yourself. Recognize your triggers for choosing that path. It's easy to tell yourself Yes rather than NO. But if you tell yourself 'no' or 'not right now' long enough it becomes easier. Getting and staying on the path that leads to your goals is a struggle. Changing direction is really hard to do but worth it when you actually see the progress you are making.

Common Budget Busters

I know I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again but if you don't have a month specific budget to tell your money where to go, you will ALWAYS wonder where your money went; or you'll get frustrated because it doesn't work and throw in the towel.  It's been a while since I've talked about budgeting so I want to talk about some common areas that we forget about and tend to bust the budget month after month.  Setting a monthly budget should not be a stressful, gut-wrenching experience month after month.  It may be at first, if you have never had one or you're starting from scratch.  You may even be a bored free-spirit who doesn't get a rush over a balanced checkbook like the average nerd does.  The only way for it to get easier is to keep doing it, build confidence in yourself and your ability.

Non-monthly expenses are perhaps the biggest budget busters out there.  You know what I'm talking about, the "we forgot that the car needs maintenance" moment we've all had; or forgetting that when the kids go back to school they need new clothes, Christmas is in December, and of course the medical deductible starts over again at the beginning of the year.  So how do you stop from going crazy by these things that seem to creep up on us?  Go through your expenses and figure out which ones are non-monthly expenses.  This is everything that occurs either erratically or in regular intervals, just not every month.  Create a sinking fund for those categories by putting money into an envelope or savings account every month to cover when those categories hit.  Simply find a monthly average that you spend in each category.  This is particularly helpful with car repairs & registration, back to school, Christmas, and vacations.  If you're not in a position to be able to cash-flow it, then you need a sinking fund.  For smaller incidentals, have a miscellaneous category in your monthly budget.    If it creates a problem for you every month, then you're not budgeting for it properly.  Make it part of your monthly expenses.  I see this happen a lot with little things like gifts, or clothing.  But people get into trouble with big things like insurance deductibles.  

Above all, KEEP GOING!  Changing the way you handle money is super hard stuff and takes lots of the 3 P's, practice, patience and perseverance.  It also requires you tell yourself, your children or your friends "no" or "not right now".  If mid-month you're thrown a curve ball, roll with it and make adjustments.  Burying your head into the sand out of fear or frustration will get you nowhere.  You're only defeated when you decide not to get up and fight one more time.

What Really Makes the Difference?

I have had a wild 2 months since I my last post. We decided to try and sell our house, got an offer within a week and moved into a rental to save money to buy another house in a couple of years. As of this Monday, when we close on the sale, we will be completely debt free! Going through all this has made me think of how far we have come in the last 5 years before we started this journey. We were broke, had a lot of debt, and living nearly paycheck to paycheck. We had great vision but no guide as to how to actually get where we wanted. All that changed when in the Summer of 2007 we were introduced to Dave Ramsey's ideas about debt and money. This paradigm shift is exactly what we needed. Since then we worked hard to not only pay off all our debt (about $24,000 worth) but build an emergency fund. We are getting ready to celebrate our 10th anniversary in a couple of months and celebrate in style we will by going to Jamaica. This is something we couldn't have imagined doing 5 years ago. I can't help but reflect on what has really made the difference in all this.

The things we do now aren't rocket science. Any sixth grader can do the basic math required to balance a budget. I think we've realized that is the easy part. The follow-through requires strength, discipline, and maturity to tell yourself 'no' or 'not right now' a lot of the time. It is NOT an easy road to travel, but since when is hard not worth the end result? Now we have a completely different view on money. We save up and pay cash for things, even if that means going without or less at times. This has given us freedom that was unfathomable before. Because of that freedom I want to shout it from the rooftops and wake people up. Let them know that there is a better way and that they don't have to be broke or nearly broke as a way of life. I have learned that doing this tends to rub some people the wrong way. They think I'm being conceited and think I'm better than them. This couldn't be further from the truth. I have never intended to offend anyone. I just can't contain my joy sometimes. I am simply enjoying the view of my efforts and want to assist others in their journey. My point is that to climb out of debt and change your life is HARD. It's REALLY hard to change the attitudes and behaviors that got you where you are today. But in the same breath I say that just because it is hard, it's not impossible. My husband and I are living proof that it's not. So decide to change today if you are tired of the same old results of being broke or nearly so. I'd be happy to show you the way!

Change Happens When You Do

Believe it or not financial problems are only the symptom of other bigger life problems.  I see this all the time with my counseling.  Whether it was a lack of planning, poor life choices, addictions, mental or physical illness, all of these problems cause financial problems.  Until they are addressed and you set on a new path, they will still yield the same harvest of problems- financial or otherwise.  So unless you want more of the same, take a look at your life and see what is the root of your financial woes.  I particularly like the quotes I chose for this month because no matter how you put it, change only happens when you do!  

Time for A Change?

Chances are that you are part of the 7 in 10 American households living paycheck to paycheck.  The funny thing is that only about half of you recognize that you really do live paycheck to paycheck.  That is some serious denial going on.  Here are some signs that you are indeed living paycheck to paycheck.  You have no savings, you feel like you play catch up on payday, you have too much month at the end of the money, you are anxious about how you are going to pay for an upcoming bill and most importantly- if you lost that paycheck today, you would be in serious trouble.  I'm not trying to make you feel stupid or worthless, I just want you to have a dose of reality as ugly as that might be.


There could be several reasons for being in this predicament.  Having career or medical issues, not knowing how to live differently and not having a plan are just a few.  Whatever the reason and no matter what your circumstances, you don't have to live like this anymore.  The key to unlocking a better future is change and that makes you the catalyst.  Only you can decide if you have had enough of the stress, pressure, and turmoil of living this way.  When you come to this crossroads you have a choice, either keep doing the same thing and getting the same results OR make a change (or several) that will lead you down a new path.  Sure, this new road seems scary and I won't lie to you, it will be hard at times.  You will even have setbacks and discouragements along the way.  But having traveled this road for the last 3+ years, I will tell you that I wouldn't go back to the way things were for anything.


If you don't know where to begin, start by realizing that you need to make a change.  If you are married, talk to your spouse about how you feel.  If your spouse doesn't feel the same way, get help from a third party clergy or counselor.  Not being on the same page with your spouse may be the biggest problem you are facing.  You will always be frustrated and never get anywhere if you are trying to row the same boat in different directions.  Work together to develop goals and a plan of how you are going to get there.  Gain the tools and knowledge to help you be successful in following that plan.  Get help when you need it.  Above all remember that this isn't a cake walk or a sprint.  Almost daily, I have to remind myself to think tortoise, NOT hare.